The Oscar Chronicles: "Where's the Beef?"

"Where's the Beef?"

In 1950 the Norfolk-Southern railroad track ran several hundred yards behind my grandfather Oscar's house in Colfax. Several times a year he'd feel the need to replenish his supply of fresh beef. Not wanting to spend any money, and being of a naturally devious mindset, he'd come up with an ingenious solution for "having his cake and eating it, too".

Knowing the passing trains schedules by heart, he'd wait until midnight, then take a cow and tie it to the railroad tracks. Sure enough, the train would come barreling through and hit the cow, killing it instantly. As the train stopped to see what had happened Oscar would appear, terribly distraught over his "favorite cow" being so ruthlessly slaughtered by the negligent railroad. As always, railroad personnel assured him that, of course, they would reimburse him for the cow killed by their carelessness. As soon as the train departed, Oscar and his helpers gleefully butchered the remains of the cow, filling all their freezers and smokehouses with nice, fresh beef, and in a day or two a new cow was delivered to comfort the grieving Oscar for his loss. And that's how it was...

- CoyotePrime