The Mogambo Guru, "Taking Weighty Steps Making a Golden Getaway"
by The Mogambo Guru
"To those who say that Goldman Sachs is a bunch of lying, deceptive, greedy, cheating, backstabbing vipers, let me remind you that Goldman Sachs is just one small, dark, slimy corner of the world. And I further say that you would probably dump a Big Stinking Load (BSL) in your underwear if you suddenly knew the extent of the unbelievable-but-true, deplorable, pandemic, grubby self-aggrandizement and sheer corruption that is always at its most repugnant extreme at the end of long monetary booms. Without exception.
There are, of course, many paths to becoming a Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR), including actually depositing a BSL in your drawers at the satori-like realization of the sheer economic horror of the bloated, distorted financial monstrosity built on lies, corruption, government control, fiat money and fractional-reserve banking, all abused on a gargantuan scale. And so, perhaps, it is this kind of sudden realization that “That idiot Mogambo was right after all!” is what is causing an outflow of Americans to foreign shores, or perhaps it is felonious rats leaving the country and seeking legal residence someplace that will not extradite them for financial crimes that are, we are all certain, sure to be uncovered soon.
But whatever it is, The New York Times seems to imply that taxes and banking problems are the reason why these people are getting on a plane with a suitcase full of money and saying, as they enter the airplane door, “Adios, suckers!” which would be kind of stupid of them. Parsing the news items for hidden messages, I detect that these people seem to be getting on an airplane with a suitcase full of gold, as I gather from the Times saying, “Amid mounting frustration over taxation and banking problems, small but growing numbers of overseas Americans are taking the weighty step of renouncing their citizenship”, which doesn’t take a Mogambo Decoder Ring (MDR) to zero-in on the use of the word “weighty step”, which is an obvious reference to the weight of gold, and how you have to lug it around, which is, in itself, an obvious reference to how, “We’re freaking doomed!” by the Federal Reserve creating so much money that the value of dollars fall and the value of gold, when measured in dollars, rises, making it worth the effort. See? It all fits!
Apparently, these people are not aware that the IRS and the Treasury have been given awesome powers by Congress to reach out and seize as much of you, and your money, as it wants, anywhere on Earth, and woe betide any stupid foreign bank or any gutless foreign government which stands in their way, especially since we control the Federal Reserve, the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank and, in doing so, control all the other banks, and, in doing so, control all the other governments, too! Hahaha!
Well, the Times is not interested in any of my conspiracy theories or how They Are All Out To Get Me (TAAOTGM), but merely notes that the number of refugees escaping from the American legal and tax systems is not exactly an avalanche, as the Federal Register shows that just “502 expatriates gave up their US citizenship or permanent residency status in the last quarter of 2009”, which is hardly worth mentioning, except as a segue to recommending everyone buy gold and silver, whether or not you take a “weighty step” out of Dodge, as 502 people seem to have done in the last quarter of 2009. And they all made money on it, as gold has gone up, perhaps prompting them to say “Whee! This investing stuff is so easy!”
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