Paul B. Farrell, "Barack ‘Yogi Berra’ Obama"

"Barack ‘Yogi Berra’ Obama"

by Paul B. Farrell

"Yes, they’re already writing his obituary. And the guy’s still got over two years on his contract. So let’s have some fun. If the opposing team’s right, at this rate by 2012 Obama will forever demolish the Great American Empire as the world power, worse than his predecessor did. Want investment advice? Sorry folks, no strategy can save you from a fate worse than hell. How bad did the pundits say it was last year? Real bad:

From the left: Even Frank Rich’s column in the New York Times (who’s 2006 "The Greatest Story Ever Sold" tore apart Bush) warns its “Obama’s Make or Break Summer,” anxiously worrying that Obama is “tilting at windmills” rather than confronting the big boys, doing “battle with fierce and unrelenting adversaries, starting with the banking lobby.” Rich worries Obama just “punted,” pushing failure not far down the road. Maybe. But we all know that Wall Street Trojan Horses on Obama’s team (Geithner, Summers, Bernanke and the ghost of Hank Paulson) are making sure Wall Street gets what critics call putting “lipstick on a pig,” not the plastic surgery it really needs.

And from the right: They’ve already written his obituary. And the toe-tag says he’s a loser. Seriously, I did a double take reading Kevin Baker’s eye-grabber in Harper’s, “Barack Hoover Obama.” Barry as Hoover? What a twist. Baker’s grand conclusion says that “much like Herbert Hoover, Barack Obama is a man attempting to realize a stirring new vision of his society without cutting himself free from the dogmas of the past, without accepting the inevitable conflict. Like Hoover, his is bound to fail.” So apparently in six short months Obama’s already done what it took Bush and Reaganomics 27 years to do.

Fascinating. So I googled deeper, discovering that the same “Hoover” indictment was leveled by Obama’s critics even before the election, and yes, even before the nomination. On the other hand, one fan did balance the Hoover handle with “Barack Delano Obama.” And we all remember many of the nastier names-calling that compared him with certain WWII leaders, casting him as a “socialist” and even “communist.” That’s politics. In each case, however, the titles of the articles told us more about the writer and where they sat in the political spectrum: Extreme right field, center field bleachers, or in the extreme left field. Ah yes, baseball analogy was emerging.

So after more googling and noodling, a list of possible names for our president began flashing across my brain’s radar scope, names for lefties, right wingnuts, center independents, late-night comedians, and… suddenly, baseball fans. Seriously, so let’s sidestep the darkside, get in the right mood, what name would you give the team captain?

1. Barack Hoover Obama (a conservative attack)
2. Barack Delano Obama (the liberal’s comeback)
3. Barack Clinton Obama (many see him more like Bill)
4. Barack Lincoln Obama (of course, his favorite hero)
5. Barack “Shoeless Joe” Obama (if you really don’t like him or Chicago)
6. Barack “Barry Bonds” Obama (you don’t like him, Frisco or the Giants)
7. Barack “A-Rod” Obama (if you don’t like New York and the Yankees)
8. Barack “Jackie Robinson” Obama (if you like him and the Dodgers )
9. Barack “Babe Ruth” Obama (because he can point and hit home runs)
10. Barack “Yogi Berra” Obama (you like him ‘cause he makes you laugh!)

So what name did you pick? I picked “Yogi Berra” because my brain homed in on that wonderful Yankee catcher who could make everyone laugh even today in an America dominated by mean-spirited contentious ideological rhetoric. Yes, Jackie Robinson fits Obama’s image, both forged new ground. And Babe Ruth for other reasons, especially that “called shot” in the 1932 World Series against Chicago, pointing to the right field, then knocking a 440-foot homer over the bleacher’s flagpole. Still I’m going with one of my favorite baseball heroes, because all the nonsense about predicting whether Obama will “make it” this summer or maybe “break” because he’s a reincarnation of Herbert Hoover is no more than an epidemic of “pundit predictionitis.” Yogi Berra’s humor and the baseball metaphor were just right to defuse the situation, if only for a few moments, in today’s heated often mean-spirited political theater.

Barack “Yogi Berra” Obama … laughs and home runs. As I read Rich and Baker I thought of piece I wrote titled “Yogi Berra on Dent vs. Prechter.” November 2004, shortly after Bush’s reelection. Back then Yogi Berra’s wit and wisdom was very in a deeply-divided America, as stock market prices skyrocketed to the heavens, and casualties piled up in the Iraq War hell. Back then, as the bull market roared, Harry Dent was riding high predicting the Dow at 40,000 by 2009 (Now it is 2010 and he’s “predicting” a long-term “Great Depression.” Go figure). In contrast, back in 2004 Robert Prechter was one of the few early ones who saw the meltdown coming. He went to the other extreme, predicting Dow 400. Yes low, but his followers were better prepared than Dent’s back then, and may be in the future.

Here’s what one rather wise reader emailed to me, “Instead of reading Dent or Prechter, you should be reading Yogi Berra who said, ‘Forecasting is very difficult, especially when it involves the future’.” That got me thinking: What would a Barack “Yoga Berra” Obama say today about playing a bruising game against a baseball team made up of scorched-earth GOP critics and Dems pocketing big bucks from all kinds of special interest lobbies hell-bent on defeating every one of Obama’s big plans. His enemies smell blood, think Obama’s tired, already fading. Yes, they are writing his obituary. They’re convinced it’s the bottom of the ninth and they got him. Worse, they think they’re way ahead, even though they can’t see the scoreboard before the end of the game, let alone next Friday’s score or 2012’s.

You have to feel some compassion here: After 27 years in power, the hitters on the opposing GOP team lost not just a big game, but tickets to the “skyboxes” (part of the metaphor). So they’re hurting, still haven’t adjusted to life as the losing team, without all the perks and ego strokes from owning the series winning team, sitting high up in the skyboxes, lording over average ticket-holders far below. So now they’re in the bleachers. They hate it. Left with little to do other than act like angry teenagers, they endlessly plot self-destructive revenge plays. Like all politicians they’re myopic, conveniently forgetting the 27 painfully-long years it took them to get us into this mess, while refusing to take any responsibility, as they do everything possible to trick the new team into screwing things up so they can return to the skyboxes and go back to screwing things up their way.

Anyway, here’s what Barack “Yogi Berra” Obama might say to defuse the tension, turn things around and win the game, maybe, the pennant and the series, or at least give us a few chuckles along the way with these “Yogiisms” from the “Zennist Master of All:”

· Bi-partisanship: “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
· Healthcare passage: “Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.”
· Wall Street reforms: “This is like deja vu all over again.”
· Dollar as reserve currency: “The nickel isn’t worth a dime today.”
· Obesity epidemic: “Cut the pizza in 4 pieces, I’m not hungry enough to eat 6.”
· Hiring staff behaviorists: “90% of this game is half mental.”
· Working with Congress: “impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much.”
· Air Force One: “Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.”
· Subprime-Credit Meltdown: “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
· Dems voting against him: “90% of putts that are short don’t go in.”
· Reaganomics: “I knew that record would stand until it was broken.”
· Talks with Iran? “If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.”
· GOP negativity: “Other teams could make trouble for us if they win.”
· Biden: “He can run anytime he wants. I’m giving him the red light.”
· The agenda: “Be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, you might not get there.”
· Campaign promises: “I didn’t really say everything I said.”
· Doomsday 2012. “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
· Teleprompters “If you ask me a question I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.”
· Where the buck stops: “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”

Want more? Read Berra’s "What Time Is It? You Mean Now?" And remember Yogi next time you’re worried where the Dow will end up in December. Can’t even predict it for this Friday. Or worried about the elections. Remember, writing about this stuff keeps pundits in business, even though most are usually wrong. But then, so are most economists, and Wall Street bankers, corporate CEOs, talking heads and politicians, so I guess that puts me in good company. As Yogi would say to wrap up his message to me: “It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and you’ve had a few of them.” Thanks Yogi Barry!"

- http://wallstreetwarzone.com/

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