Satire: The Borowitz Report, "Disgusted, Satan Returns Murdoch’s Soul"
"Disgusted, Satan Returns Murdoch’s Soul"
Media Titan Loses Closest Ally
by Andy Borowitz
LONDON (The Borowitz Report) – "In a blow that many insiders saw as the last straw for embattled media titan Rupert Murdoch, Satan today returned Mr. Murdoch’s soul to him and demanded his money back. “Rupert Murdoch has done my bidding for decades, but that relationship is now terminated,” read the terse statement from the Prince of Darkness, who close associates said has been “disgusted” by Murdoch’s recent activities. Purchased by Satan in Melbourne, Australia in 1951, Mr. Murdoch’s soul is estimated to have a current value of nine dollars (US).
Elsewhere, pitcher Roger Clemens celebrated his steroid case being declared a mistrial by throwing a car across the courthouse parking lot.”
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