Satire: “Tea Party Issues Scathing Rebuttal to State of Union Twelve Hours Before Speech”

 “Tea Party Issues Scathing Rebuttal to State of Union
 Twelve Hours Before Speech”
by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)— “In a break with tradition, Tea Party Republicans issued their official rebuttal to tonight’s State of the Union address a full twelve hours before President Obama was scheduled to deliver it. Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) appeared on Fox News Channel at 9 A.M. (E.T.) to read the rebuttal, which some historians called the most brutal response ever to a Presidential speech that had not yet been made.

Calling Mr. Obama’s speech “full of the same empty promises and bald-faced lies we’ve come to expect,” Sen. Paul added that “tonight Barack Obama made his case: for his own impeachment.” Laced with sarcasm and invective, Sen. Paul’s rebuttal eviscerated Mr. Obama’s not-yet-given speech, ending with a call for the President to be tried for treason and banished from the U.S.

Roger Ailes, President of Fox News Channel, defended the decision to air a blistering attack on a speech that Mr. Obama was not scheduled to give for another twelve hours: “Our viewers are very unlikely to sit through Barack Obama’s State of the Union address. Airing the rebuttal beforehand gives them a sense of what they would have thought was reprehensible about it.” For his part, Sen. Paul made no apologies for calling a speech he had never actually heard “worthy of President Ahmadinejad.” “Look, if I had waited to listen to the speech, I bet I would have hated it even more.”

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